The Top 10 Ways I'm Different than a "Real" Cyclist

In my year of riding bikes, I have heard several people note the difference between “real” cyclists and those of us who ride for a combination of recreation and physical fitness/challenge.  I was thinking about these differences the other night, when I came up with this list:

THE TOP 10 WAYS I’M DIFFERENT THAN A “REAL” CYCLIST

1.   “Real” cyclists ride road bikes.  They have razor thin tires, are light as a feather, and are built for speed.  I ride a hybrid/comfort bike with thicker tires, is light by my standards (but not compared to a road bike), and is built to handle well when I decide I want to ride an unpaved trail, through a patch of grass, or over a bumpy road or sidewalk.

2.   “Real” cyclists ride on the road all the time.  They are fearless when riding in traffic.  I ride on sidewalks/bike paths when there’s one around and not occupied by pedestrians.  I’m afraid of traffic.  I know what I’m thinking of half the time I’m driving – and it’s not driving.  It just seems too easy for someone to clip a biker while not paying attention to what they’re doing.

3.   “Real” cyclists clip/strap their feet into their pedals.  Do I need to explain why I don’t do this?  Just imagine needing to stop quickly but having your feet bound to the pedals.  Get the picture?

4.   “Real” cyclists have all the latest electronic gear including a bike computer and a heartrate monitor from expensive, professional, sports-fitness companies.  I have this stuff too, but mine’s from Wal-mart.  My stuff does the same things for half the price.  (But it doesn’t look as cool or have a name brand.)

5.   “Real” cyclists wear cool-looking gear in official cyclist shirts (like those you see at the Tour de France) and padded shorts.  Again, I wear stuff like this, except mine is a one color shirt from Wal-mart and padded shorts from a local sports store.  I’ve priced the two options, and I can get two sets (shirt and shorts) for the price of one “cool” shirt.

6.   “Real” cyclists ride outside no matter what the weather conditions.  Our local bike club recently posted a weekly ride scheduled at the start of February, but noted they would only ride if the temperature was 25 degrees or more.  Yikes!  I barely go outside with a coat on if it’s 25 degrees!  Don’t things freeze at 32 degrees?  My lower range for outdoor riding is 50 degrees.

7.   “Real” cyclists read Bicycling magazine. OK, I do this too.  It’s a great magazine for both “real” cyclists as well as people like me.

8.   “Real” cyclists pedal at 70-90 revolutions per minute.  I do this when inside on my trainer (it’s easier), but for outside riding, I pedal around 50-60 except on steep hills where I pedal about 20-30. J  70-90 just seems too fast for me – and a lot of effort for nothing, though “experts” claim it’s the most efficient way to ride.  I’m a non-believer.

9.   “Real” cyclists ride for speed or for ultra-endurance.  For a “real” cyclist, 25 mph is nothing.  I’ve hit that speed a couple of times – traveling downhill and pedaling hard.  And when we talk of endurance, I think 25 miles is good and a century is the outer limit.  “Real” cyclists scoff at this mileage.  They either ride 24-hour events or simply across the country.   

10.  “Real” cyclists eat and drink all sorts of funky food and drink that gives them extra energy.  We’re talking gels, powders, and freaky home-made trail mix.  I drink water and Gatorade (only) and eat Three Musketeers bars.  I read somewhere that they were the best option for us candy lovers.  Too bad they don’t sell them at McDonald’s…

Ok, I jest. A bit.  In reality, we’re all real cyclists – just with different goals, lives, and senses of reality. J